The Red Badge of Gayness
Template:Spoiler Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny are practicing for their Civil War band march. Cartman messes around with the drums until the others tell him that he can't be apart of the band march. Cartman breaks the drum and leaves in a huff.
At the re-enactment of the Battle of Tamarack Hill, Cartman, now dressed as Confederate General Robert E. Lee, makes a bet with Stan and Kyle that the South will win the war. If the South wins, Stan and Kyle are Cartman's slaves; but if the South loses, Cartman is Stan and Kyle's slave. He proceeds to ruin the re-enactment.
Later on, he tells Uncle Jimbo that the South should win so that the South side in the re-enactment will not be teased for "losing" as they are every year. The men are all drunk from the S'more Schnapps beer sponsoring the event and agree to this.
After the South wins the re-enactment, the Union re-enactors, also drunk on S'more Schnapps, decide to join the Confederate re-enactors and march on Topeka and beyond.
After heading out of town, they capture more and more areas and grow in numbers, raiding the towns for S'more Schnapps to continue their drinking binge. Kenny is killed on the way however, to which Cartman informs Mrs. McCormick by mail.
Stan, Kyle and Grandpa Marsh realize they need to stop Cartman from ruining history. They suggest that the men are drunk and will return to town when they recover, so they steal all the S'more Schnapps from the camp.
When the men realize what they've been doing, after their binge wears off, they decide to head back to South Park. In response, Cartman calls up S'more Schnapps who send a truck carrying more beer and a S'more Schnapps girl. After brief hesitation, the men become drunk once more.
With no other options left, and President Clinton about to sign the surrender to the South, Stan and Kyle take on the roles of Jefferson Davis and Abraham Lincoln in front of the White House and manage to end the "war" with South "surrendering". The men respect this act and return to South Park. Stan and Kyle then tell Cartman that he's their slave. Cartman objects, telling them that now that the South has surrendered, slavery is abolished. President Clinton affirms Cartman's claim and Stan and Kyle insult Clinton as they leave.
- "The Red Badge of Gayness (Season 3, Episode 14) - Episode Guide". southparkstudios.com.